I have been avoiding you, my xanga friends

So I have totally been avoiding xanga for quite some time. I was going through something that was really difficult that was really consuming me and did not want to share it with the entire xanga world. For some reason I was embarrassed, but now I have finally become comfortable with the situation and know that my friends can be praying for us... how can you pray when you don't know what's going on. With that said I am going to spill the dirt.

Jody and I have been trying to get pregnant since Annika was about six months old... three years. We tried on our own for about a year. Every month I was devastated to find out that I was not pregnant. After about a year we went to an OB/GYN and he put me on a medication for three months that did nothing beside make me feel terrible! That OB/GYN sent me on to an infertility specialist in Ft. Wayne (45 minutes away). I went through several months of ultrasounds and hormone shots in the hopes of becoming pregnant. This whole process was incredibly hard on me. My emotions were crazy from all the hormones. There were also painful physical side effects. Worst of all, I felt like I was letting my family down. Annika really wants a sibling. Jody and I really want another baby... it was all so hard on me. We decided to stop trying for a while. I needed a break.

A few months later I was listening to a local Christian radio station. They were doing a short program talking with a woman that runs an adoption agency about an hour from Warsaw. I really became interested and started talking with Jody about the possibility of an international adoption. I did tons of research and we are really hoping and praying that we will be able to adopt internationally. The biggest hurdle is the cost... about $20,000. The Salvation Army has a grant for Officers that would cover about one third of the expense, but you have to put the money out first and get reimbursed. The US Government gives you a tax break of about $10,000 the year the adoption takes place, but again that doesn't help us with the start up costs. We really believe that God has led us to this decision... please pray for us!

I want to leave you with a few recent pictures of Annika.

This one was taken the day she got her ears pierced... she did a great job!

 We went to the beach... she had so much fun playing in the sand and the clay pit.

She cried when we had to leave!

Please Pray

1. We had a girl accept Christ on Wednesday. Her name is Erica. Pray that she continues to learn more about Christ and that we (Jody, myself, Eric, and Thea) are good examples to her of what it means to be a Christian.

2.  Jody left for Men's Camp this morning. Every time he's gone on a Sunday it seems that everything goes wrong... don't let Satan have a victory this Sunday. Pray the the Lord really works in me and through me to prepare for Sunday so that all goes smoothly.

3. I have joined a Community Bible Study in my area. One of the young women in my group is suffering from cancer. She is married and has three children under ten. Her name is Tracey. Please pray for her to be completely healed of her cancer. May God's will be done!

4.  Many people have asked us when we are going to have another child. The truth is that we have been trying for over two years now. I have been going through fertility treatments on and off for about 9 months. We are really doing okay with this. We have gotten to the point where we really are waiting on God, but the treatments can be difficult on me. Pray that we would know what path God has for us in this process and that we would have the courage to follow through with what we feel God calling us to do.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Jody's Birthday

Today is Jody's 29th birthday. I feel bad because his birthday is in the midst of a crazy busy week. Monday we went to visit our friends Aaron, Jenny, and Abby Ortman with Ed, Emily, and Annalise Jordan. We had a great day! It was so fun to watch Annika and Abby play together (there is about six months between the girls) and really nice to chat with the adults while the girls were napping. Tuesday we went to a holiness seminar in Indianapolis (it was good)... and Jody left after lunch to come back to do a board meeting. Then we had dinner with Nathan and Michele Harms and our friend Megan Woods from Ft. Wayne who we haven't seen in a while. Today I went to Community Bible Study (studying Romans) at a local church, had lunch with Jody, worked all afternoon (Jody and Eric were gone so I actually got a bunch done), and had youth activities and senior band tonight. Tomorrow we are running in different directions during the day and have corps council in the evening. Friday Jody leaves for Men's Camp.

Happy birthday, Jody! I love you so much it's disgusting! (Inside joke.) 

Currently Reading Captivating: Unveiling the Mystery of a Woman's Soul By John Eldredge, Stasi Eldredge see related

A must read for all women!

I am reading the most amazing book. It's called Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge. I would highly recommend it to all women... and men that want to understand the women in their life a little better.

It speaks to the heart of women, examining the questions that all women seek to answer in their life. Am I beautiful? Am I captivating? It goes all the way back to Eve and how the fall influenced every woman's heart.

Check it out if you're looking for a good book.

Dancing with Papa

My Papa passed away about two weeks ago. I selfishly didn't want him to die. He's been the rock of our family my entire life. I love him very much and am so sad that he's gone.

As I was thinking about my Papa prior to his passing, I thought about the many lessons I have learned from this amazing Christian man. The one that stood out to me the most during this terribly difficult time was a lesson in God's perfect timing. We had many family gatherings that included dancing... our family loves to dance. I have memories of dancing with my Papa as a little girl. Mema and Papa were amazing ballroom dancers and Papa tried to teach all of us granddaughters how to dance. I can remember Papa holding me close as we danced and he would put me into a hold. It would seem like he held me there forever, but it was the perfect timing of the dance.

Papa's passing may have come at an imperfect time for me (and the rest of my family), but it was God's perfect timing for Papa's life.

I am still mourning the loss of my Papa, but I know that he is with God in heaven and that gives me comfort.

I love you, Papa!